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Beauty  /  Business Coaching  /  Life Coaching  /  Money  /  Self-Care  /  Women

What Would You Do for Yourself if Money was Irrelevant?

September 21, 2013 by

It’s no secret that not taking care of ourselves creates frustration and lack, whereas taking care of ourselves (sleeping, eating, exercising, primping, resting, writing, venting, creating boundaries, maintaining healthy relationships) creates fullness and joy.

But what does extreme self-care really look like?

I’m working on two books, building my coaching practice and growing the spray tanning side of our business with my #1 girl, Britney. I’ve created a rich and supported personal life. But often, I’m still too busy, too stressed and too exhausted at the end of the day. I see this with my clients too, and I know our cups just aren’t full enough.

We aren’t overflowing. And we deserve to overflow.


To dig into this concept, I opened the notes section of my iPhone and wrote, “what does extreme self-care look like?”

I couldn’t answer the question clearly yet, but I started to write down some notes: “A year ago, spending $400 on a creativity class for myself was outside of my comfort zone for self-care. When I made this investment, I rationalized it as a birthday gift to myself. Now, I wouldn’t think twice about investing that amount in my joy, growth and career. $4000 is a different story. I’m not instantly comfortable at that level yet. And it’s the same for a trip, a bag or a personal development course. We are comfortable with certain levels of investing in ourselves but not others.”

For me, money was showing up as one block to extreme self-care. Interested in digging deeper, I asked another question, “what else would I buy or do for myself if money was irrelevant?” This perspective made it easy. The list flowed:

  • travel to Brazil and Argentina for 3 weeks
  • buy the black leather boots I’m lusting over
  • work weekly with a personal trainer
  • go back to Australia
  • buy a bigger condo with more outdoor space
  • coach, speak and write daily
  • exercise every day

And then I asked my focus group (12 girlfriends) what they would do for themselves if money was irrelevant. Here’s what they said:

  1. Travel everywhere
  2. Buy an apartment in NYC, quit my day job, get weekly massages, write a film
  3. Get a chef, personal trainer, masseuse, weekly facials and acne treatments
  4. Live at the beach most of the year
  5. Go on a boat cruise around the Greek islands
  6. Custom design an ocean front house in California
  7. Travel
  8. Quit my job. Tomorrow.
  9. Go to Santa Barbara, buy a beautiful home and be a mommy. Go around the world and save little girls and women from abuse.
  10. Yoga in Costa Rica. More travel in general.
  11. Book a trip to Machu Picchu
  12. Plan a trip abroad. Buy fun clothes and do spa treatments to make me feel good. Save the rest.

I loved receiving these responses. How delicious to hear what the women in my life would do for themselves! Later on, I handwrote my list into my art journal and added a lot more desires. I also cleaned my condo, booked a session with my personal trainer who I’ve been avoiding, made it to the gym three days in a row and showed up more open for my clients. Oooh, and I bought the beautiful black leather boots.

What is extreme self-care to you? What would you do for yourself if money was irrelevant?

And if you can’t do it all right now, in what smaller ways can you bring those desires to life in this moment? You deserve all the love and goodness in the world. But it must be sourced from you, the goddess within.

Remember, you are the one you’ve been waiting for.


If you can’t have a full a spa day right now, can you do a $40 blowout from Drybar?


If you can’t spread out and paint on your balcony, can you art journal on your bed?


And if you just can’t get to space right now, can you wear this cosmic dress from Forever 21?

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