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Beauty in the Breakdown

July 10, 2013 by

A few weeks ago, a certain relationship ended before I was ready for it to be over. It was short but meaningful. I cried because I’ll miss him, and I cried because life has it’s own pace. And sometimes we just aren’t prepared.

Here’s the story: he asked me for an exclusive relationship before I felt ready. After gaining some self-awareness around my resistance, I decided to make a commitment, for him and for myself. At the time, it felt like an act of self-love to let myself be vulnerable and be in a relationship. But just as I was easing into the relationship, he realized he wasn’t ready either. My commitment blew up in my face. It started before I was ready and ended in the exact same fashion.

This time, I did “breakup” differently. I cried for 24 hours and told strangers who quickly became friends. I shared in service of practicing vulnerability, and I am still alive. One friend brought me flowers and others let me talk for hours. I accessed support from all different people and learned that sharing lets others know it’s okay for them to share too. It’s okay to be human.

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Connecting with Your Beauty

July 1, 2013 by


Working in the beauty industry, I am always looking and noticing physical appearance. By nature, I will recognize your gorgeous new highlights, recently purchased red dress and fresh gel manicure. But I have also trained myself — and anyone I work with — to notice beauty beyond the physical element. We see every client who walks into our spray tanning studio as already beautiful, already complete. There is beauty everywhere, and it’s our job to add just a little bit of glow.

Now and then, however, a new client will walk in the room and all we notice is that she is breathtakingly beautiful in the most conventional way. At which point, a quiet whisper asks: what could she possibly need from us anyway? She already has it all. Last November, one particularly gorgeous client walked into the studio. First, I noticed her her big green eyes and overwhelming natural beauty. Then, I spotted her army green nail polish which matched her puffy green coat. For a moment, I became insecure about my work. How could I possibly make this woman any more beautiful? She was already glowing.

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Busy is a State of Being

March 30, 2013 by


May I ask you a question? If you sit with it and let it take shape, I promise it can open your eyes.

What has you being so busy?

That’s right, I said it. What has you being so damn busy all the time? You say it’s not up to you. You want more time, you just can’t seem to find it. I get it, I totally get it. But let’s look a little deeper because you might have more power here than you think. What is the payoff of being so busy? Does busy help you feel important? Needed?

Busy is something I’ve been looking at lately in my own life. For me, I’m seeing that busy does make me feel important! The thing is, we are already important. We don’t need crammed schedules and and back to back appointments to validate our presence in the universe.

What I’ve also realized is that having lots of time and space in my schedule is actually outside of my comfort zone. I’m working on not having to use every minute for something considered conventionally productive or valuable. Even though I love my work, I’m focusing on actually allowing room for totally divine and completely creative play.

What’s on the other side of space and time?

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