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Beauty in the Breakdown

July 10, 2013 by

A few weeks ago, a certain relationship ended before I was ready for it to be over. It was short but meaningful. I cried because I’ll miss him, and I cried because life has it’s own pace. And sometimes we just aren’t prepared.

Here’s the story: he asked me for an exclusive relationship before I felt ready. After gaining some self-awareness around my resistance, I decided to make a commitment, for him and for myself. At the time, it felt like an act of self-love to let myself be vulnerable and be in a relationship. But just as I was easing into the relationship, he realized he wasn’t ready either. My commitment blew up in my face. It started before I was ready and ended in the exact same fashion.

This time, I did “breakup” differently. I cried for 24 hours and told strangers who quickly became friends. I shared in service of practicing vulnerability, and I am still alive. One friend brought me flowers and others let me talk for hours. I accessed support from all different people and learned that sharing lets others know it’s okay for them to share too. It’s okay to be human.

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