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Do It Differently

July 16, 2013 by

People decide to work with a coach because they want to create a different result. They have good lives, but they want GREAT lives. They like their job, but they want to love it. They’re content being single, but they’d be really happy to be in a loving relationship. They have a dream for a new business but they want to make it a reality.

In coaching, we say that people do the best they can with the tools they’ve been given. You are where you are because of the tools (education, training, support, books, workshops, etc.) you’ve accessed through life thus far. To take it to the next level, you have to acquire new tools — new ways of thinking, acting and believing.

But this is precisely where most of us get stuck.

Most of us think that if we keep doing what we’re doing and just up the ante, we’ll get the desired result. We treat ourselves as if we are never-ending tubes of toothpaste. Let me. Just. Squeeze. A little. More. Out.

When I was living in New York City, my favorite boss would often send this Einstein quote to our sales team: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I didn’t fully understand his point until now.


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Beauty in the Breakdown

July 10, 2013 by

A few weeks ago, a certain relationship ended before I was ready for it to be over. It was short but meaningful. I cried because I’ll miss him, and I cried because life has it’s own pace. And sometimes we just aren’t prepared.

Here’s the story: he asked me for an exclusive relationship before I felt ready. After gaining some self-awareness around my resistance, I decided to make a commitment, for him and for myself. At the time, it felt like an act of self-love to let myself be vulnerable and be in a relationship. But just as I was easing into the relationship, he realized he wasn’t ready either. My commitment blew up in my face. It started before I was ready and ended in the exact same fashion.

This time, I did “breakup” differently. I cried for 24 hours and told strangers who quickly became friends. I shared in service of practicing vulnerability, and I am still alive. One friend brought me flowers and others let me talk for hours. I accessed support from all different people and learned that sharing lets others know it’s okay for them to share too. It’s okay to be human.

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Connecting with Your Beauty

July 1, 2013 by


Working in the beauty industry, I am always looking and noticing physical appearance. By nature, I will recognize your gorgeous new highlights, recently purchased red dress and fresh gel manicure. But I have also trained myself — and anyone I work with — to notice beauty beyond the physical element. We see every client who walks into our spray tanning studio as already beautiful, already complete. There is beauty everywhere, and it’s our job to add just a little bit of glow.

Now and then, however, a new client will walk in the room and all we notice is that she is breathtakingly beautiful in the most conventional way. At which point, a quiet whisper asks: what could she possibly need from us anyway? She already has it all. Last November, one particularly gorgeous client walked into the studio. First, I noticed her her big green eyes and overwhelming natural beauty. Then, I spotted her army green nail polish which matched her puffy green coat. For a moment, I became insecure about my work. How could I possibly make this woman any more beautiful? She was already glowing.

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