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Beauty  /  Life Coaching  /  Self-Care  /  Uncategorized

Connecting with Your Beauty

July 1, 2013 by


whole-glow-love

Working in the beauty industry, I am always looking and noticing physical appearance. By nature, I will recognize your gorgeous new highlights, recently purchased red dress and fresh gel manicure. But I have also trained myself — and anyone I work with — to notice beauty beyond the physical element. We see every client who walks into our spray tanning studio as already beautiful, already complete. There is beauty everywhere, and it’s our job to add just a little bit of glow.

Now and then, however, a new client will walk in the room and all we notice is that she is breathtakingly beautiful in the most conventional way. At which point, a quiet whisper asks: what could she possibly need from us anyway? She already has it all. Last November, one particularly gorgeous client walked into the studio. First, I noticed her her big green eyes and overwhelming natural beauty. Then, I spotted her army green nail polish which matched her puffy green coat. For a moment, I became insecure about my work. How could I possibly make this woman any more beautiful? She was already glowing.

As fate would have it, countless conversations around self-help books, spiritual interests and shopping destinations, have made me and this client very close friends. And through becoming her friend, I’ve realized she doesn’t have a clue about how beautiful she really is. She loves herself and acknowledges her beauty, but I don’t think she sees her beauty the way I did the day we first met. And that’s the thing about beauty: we never get to see ourselves for the very first time. We rarely get to connect with it in an organic way — without questions, judgement or excessive tweezing.

Thus, we are often disconnected from our beauty. We may connect for a minute, when we wake up with smudged eyeliner from falling asleep on the couch and realize, I do look pretty in the morning. Or perhaps we get a makeover at Sephora and notice, my eyes really are gorgeous with this blue eyeliner. Or maybe we get a blowout, put on a new dress and suddenly, we smile in the mirror and say, wow. The feeling lasts through the morning and even the night, if we’re lucky. Then we get a pimple, have a fight with our boyfriend or can’t fit into last summer’s shorts and voila! we disconnect.

Even this friend of mine, one of the most gorgeous women I know, disconnects. By choice or force, she disengages. We all ebb and flow.

And what about those of us who don’t take care of our beauty? Are we completely disconnected? Totally clueless? I’ve been there. At some point, you have too. Perhaps we don’t want to be noticed, looked at or seen. And yet I believe that deep down, we all want to be seen, accepted and loved completely, down to our pinky toes.

At the core, we want to stay connected to ourselves and our beauty. We want to wear the lipstick and we say we will, someday. But really we want to do it now.

With my private coaching practice, the story comes with a “so I can’t” which is really a “so I won’t.” Here’s what I mean:

  • I don’t feel feminine so I can’t be ready to date.
  • I look bad in dresses so I can’t buy them, but I love them.
  • I’m not pretty enough so I can’t show him I’m interested.
  • I gained 5 pounds so I can’t see him until I lose it again.

You will always be too something or not enough something else. This is America, where we are surrounded by billboards and magazine ads that have been chopped and photoshopped to extremes. It’s all external. Nothing outside of you is real.

So wear that lipstick. Wear that dress. Find a way to know yourself and love yourself more each day. Go to the corner of your room where you feel safe and warm and just be there.

Try these affirmations:

My beauty is an expression of gratitude for life.

I recognize my beauty and am comfortable showing it to others.

It is safe to express my beauty.

whole-glow-selflove


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