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Business Coaching  /  Creativity  /  Life Coaching

5 Ways to Keep Going

July 24, 2013 by


Earlier this week, I spoke with a close friend and colleague. He’s going through stuff. I’m going through stuff. We are all — always — going through stuff.

We are infinite beings, continually growing, shifting and changing.

In our culture, we often assume the process of going through something means we have issues or problems. Maybe we do. But that’s okay. Because going through or experiencing life’s challenges simply means we are in process and alive. If we weren’t going through, we’d be hitting a wall. And then we’d have a real problem.

In the midst of our conversation, my friend said, “I just want to have inspiring conversations and talk about great shit, not my personal shit that’s in the way.”

And then it hit me. “This is the great shit,” I replied.

This is it. The ups and downs, back and forth, gain and loss, ebb and flow of life — this is what we are here to experience, discuss, process and share with others.

This is your experience, your reality and your story.

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When you beat yourself up about where you are, you deny your own process of growth and change. You are where you are. This is currently the place where you exist and live.

And loving yourself in a time of transition is actually the epitome of self love.

But that doesn’t change the experience that life is full of lessons and we need extra support during particularly challenging times. Here are 5 ways to keep going when you feel stuck, frustrated, bored, tired, defeated or overwhelmed.

1) Redefine your goals and commitments.

Go back to your goals, your dream list or your project plan. What are you really committed to? If you’re disappointed over a failed relationship, rejected proposal, health setback or a perceived lack of progress in any other area of your life, look to see if you are still in line with your commitments. Sometimes staying where you are is your progress and with new information we can tweak our goals and commitments. I do want a relationship, but only one where I can express myself freely. I do want to lose 30 pounds, but I also want to maintain a relationship with friends or family and not lose out on dinners or fun events. With your new knowledge and experience, rewrite and clarify your commitments.

2) Stay clear.

What do you need to stay focused and clear? Sometimes an opportunity is presented and we jump on it because we are so willing to make things work. True satisfaction comes when we distinguish what we truly desire. Be honest with yourself. Perhaps the thing you lost was not a loss at all but rather an opportunity to better clarify where you’re headed.

If you are visual person, a vision board may provide the reminder you crave. If you benefit from affirmations, set affirmations as reminders in your phone to pop up throughout the day. Whether you are looking for a new career, a romantic partner or a business venture, know that many opportunities will come your way. The more we can clarify what we’re looking for and keep that vision front and center, the easier it will be to choose what fits inside our vision.

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3) Source the support you need.

When setbacks occur, we need love, support and encouragement more than ever. Many of my clients say they don’t currently have the type of support they want or need in their lives. To normalize the experience, I will share that it’s very common to feel unsupported, especially when you’re embarking on a new goal or venture. Most people aren’t born into a world where they have a perfectly supportive mother, father, partner, friends, boss, etc. and one of the most important lessons we can learn in life is to source the support we need from ourselves and others. This means asking for support when we need it and telling others specifically what type of support we need. At different times, we may need to hear words of love and affirmation, to talk it out or to be called out.

Often our loved ones will try to help. If your partner knows you’re committed to healthy eating, he or she may make a comment when you order a slice of double-chocolate lava cake at dinner. Good intentions can quickly turn into a confrontation! To source the support you need, you may have a conversation like this, “I really appreciate you holding me to my commitments around healthy eating, but every now and then, I want to treat myself. Tonight will be one of those nights. Tomorrow, please remind me to get back on plan!”

4) Indulge and honor yourself.

When you’re going through something, you need to keep going. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re headed; you just have to be willing to take the next step. When you are in breakdown mode over a goal or commitment, self-care is often the first thing to go. Now is the time to get a massage, go to acupuncture, have a juicy conversation with a girlfriend or prepare a beautiful meal. Sometimes self-love means doing the work and other times, it means taking a break. Vacations are wonderful and provide great mental clarity. Meditation is a mini-vacation for the mind that can happen daily. It’s also the cheapest vacation you’ll ever take.

When you’re deciding between two things (dinner with the girls or a creative night at home), ask yourself, “what is the most loving choice right now?” You are your greatest love affair. Ask the child inside of you — the one who yearns to be loved and protected — what is needed. Indulge you. Invest in you.

5) Be patient with yourself. You are in process.

We often jump ahead of the game. If you are a visionary, your mind will often be 2 to 10 steps ahead of your body and your reality.

You, like any great piece of art, are a work in progress. Surrender to yourself. Surrender to the process.

If it helps, know that others around you are in process too. There is no living, breathing being who is committed to growth and is not at some point conflicted, confused or frustrated. Try to love the process of growth and change. Do not become disheartened with the searching you have left to do. Instead, look at all you have discovered and how far you have come.

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